How to cope with dating a workaholic
And I'm not talking about things like don't spit on the table, I'm talking about things like formally greet the head of the household with an honorific. I came from a peasant-class household, and we just don't do that. If someone were to insist that I had to treat someone else's family as though they were my social superiors, in order to have them agree that I was being respectful, I would not be acquainted with them for very long.Another angle on this: the idea of unspoken contracts. One from 7am to 6 then goes to his next job from 7 to 12. The only thing I hear him do is complain about being tired. He's even been working 7 days a week the last few weeks. If I'm not I see him maybe 30 minutes before we fall asleep. Well he's caught up but still hasn't quit that 2nd job.
I've witnessed a number of instances where the exact notion of someone being 'disrespectful' was debatable.I know there are detrimental things that are almost impossible to cope with in the longterm eg emotional or physical abuse, unfaithfulness, dishonesty, poor money management, or unhealthy vices eg drug abuse, gambling, etc . I am asking if you have the capacity to accept/tolerate less chronic but still challenging conditions like your mate being a workaholic, or someone who doesnt stand up for you when inlaws are disrespectful, or someone who doesnt help around the house, or someone who is excessively messy/disorganised, or someone who is poor at communicating their feelings or desires, or who shuts down or gets reclusive during stress or conflict etc , who is cheap or who participates but who shows no initiative, or even someone who doesnt make the effort you would like in looking their best.Can you accept any of those kinds of shortcomings in your mate if they never changed? And I know this is a weird question, but if you can't tolerate any of the above conditions, what shortcomings can you tolerate or accept? We all have faults (depwnding in people) but if I can't own up and work on my faults, I wouldn't expect someone else to put up with it for long But it depends on what the other perceives as short comings and if it minor or not If I understand what you're asking, the answer is that to me, it isn't a matter of coping with such differences.if their shortcoming is something like not sticking up for me with their parents, then I would have to stick up for myself. Am I capable of offsetting their shortcomings with my strengths?If I'm not willing to stick up for myself, and they're not willing to stick up for me, then more than likely it's going to lead to me not "accepting" them/their shortcoming and a failure of the relationship. "Relationships are a two way street." It's not just about them working on their shortcomings or not.