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The word is highly charged in the trans community because of its hurtful use in the past, and even if your date uses it to describe themselves or others, chances are when you say the word, you'll sound awkward at best, or a like an insensitive jerk at worst. If you mess up pronouns, apologize briefly and move on. Quickly say you're sorry and keep the conversation flowing.People mess up names and pronouns of non-trans folks, too; our brains are not perfect, so don't make it a huge deal and draw more attention to it. With all your newfound knowledge, you might now be tempted to flaunt it, but don't. As a rule, think of it as a 3-to-1 ratio: you should only bring it up once for every three times your date does.It's also kind of a boner-killer to have someone gawking at how we don't look like a Heather anymore. More likely it's things like the way they move across the room, a grin, how they hold a glass, a look in their eyes, the way they tell a story -- all characteristics that have no gender markers whatsoever. Use gender-neutral adjectives ("sexy," "smoldering," "attractive," "compelling," "hot") and maybe throw in "cute," "adorable," or "handsome." Avoid adjectives that tend to be gendered in either direction -- too feminine and it can feel uncomfortable, but too masculine and it can sound like you're overcompensating.(The same goes for excessive dude-bro speak.) Raymond is an instructor at Early to Bed, a feminist sex toy shop in Chicago....""An ongoing therapy group for those wishing to explore the challenges and rewards of navigating issues related to gender identity....""You are cordially invited to attend an 8 week course on Healing Our Losses.Some trans people like knowing that their date has been to the rodeo before, so to speak.Others think it's an immediate red flag that you're a fetishist.
We here at Early to Bed have had many customers ask for our help in flirting and consummating their crush on an FTM, so on Feb.The group is set to begin sometime in the near future.Please contact me if you are interested in participating.No need to waste time on long surveys either: just a couple questions and the app will start working its magic for you."An ongoing therapy group for those wishing to explore the challenges and rewards of navigating issues related to gender identity.