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When we get out of our own heads and think of others, all of a sudden the right things to say come easy to us.

while really we should think of how we can be of service to other people.

Create something that’s witty and warm and demonstrates you’ve read their profile, as opposed to just flicking through their photos. Research has shown that people warm towards hearing their own name in conversation.

Use that scientific discovery to your own advantage, by starting your email with a “Hello [Username]” and not a non-specific “Hi.” If you want to create a feeling of warmth, shorten their name, use its initials, or create a nickname based on one of their interests. Everyone loves to read about themselves, so don’t begin your message by launching straight in about you.

This is basic, but sometimes daters forget that the first thing a match will do when they receive an interesting email is click on the profile of the person who sent it.

Struggling to think of the right thing to say to an attractive match?If their profile made you laugh out loud in the middle of Tesco, say it.If you despaired of ever meeting a woman who loved football (even if you question her choice of team), say it.Here’s match.com’s relationship expert Kate Taylor with dating advice on how to give great copy.Anyone who’s ever dated online has had that moment – the blinking cursor, the empty text box, the racing heart, and the brain so temporarily empty, it has tumbleweed running through it. Make yourself a soothing cup of tea, and we’ll talk about how to do it right.

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