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And for sexy situations: caught with an erection, caught masturbating, being alone in a castle, deserted beach, or BDSM party.

Lauren says just like with IRL sex, it’s important to reconnect after phone sex with laughter and wind down talk after you both orgasm.

Maybe you hate the outdoors and would never in a million years be caught doing watersports.

There’s nothing stopping you from exploring a phone sex fantasy of getting it on in a raft in the lake when the lake..in your mind.

Read on for general advice — and most importantly — straight-up lines of dialogue you can steal and put in your back pocket.

You know how Spotify free is like, SO GOOD until you hit an ad and inevitably hand over your credit card number for premium?

Think of as many different scenarios as you can: the library, the back of your car, Paris, in an airplane, at a Costco, etc.

Lauren suggests, “Imagine I’m a sex robot you can program to do whatever you want. Imagine if I had done [insert alternative sexy activity].” Some jumping off points, should you need: “What if you realized I was wearing a strap-on under my bikini?

“Imagine if we were at an elegant restaurant, and you were under the table cloth, eating me out while the waiter took our order.” or, “what if we were at a party full of sexy people and they all just started f*cking in front of us?

”Make like your favorite reality show stars and start spilling!

It’s hard to believe that through all the technological breakthroughs, long-distance sex is still pretty much the same as it was in 1876 when Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone so women could describe their ankles to guys over the phone. But phone sex can really feel like that if you don’t know what you’re doing.

Luckily, Lauren Rules, a professional phone sex operator with over 15 years of experience, is here to give her top 14 tips on how to have the best, most non-awkward phone sex of your life.

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