Married sex hookup
According to a recent barrage of news stories, apps like Tinder have turned dating into a dehumanizing form of online shopping, catalyzing some sort of sexual Armageddon and the death of courtship itself. So if you have a very unrestricted sociosexuality—meaning you want a lot of casual sex and novelty—then Tinder is perfect for you.
Casual sex has become too easy, the consensus seems to be, preventing young people from making meaningful connections and turning us into sex-crazed, diseased sociopaths speeding toward a broken, lonely future. One guy has slept with five different women from Tinder—his “Tinderellas”—over the previous eight days, another with “30 to 40 women in the last year.” They can’t remember some of the girls’ names, and they brag about how little money and effort these “dates” cost them.
But the 20-something women in Sales’s article have no such luck; they all have bad sex and feel manipulated, creating the impression that women are forced into a hookup culture they are not comfortable with and have no control over.
Of course, at the heart of her case is a familiar and unfortunate premise: the idea that, by having sex, men are something.
It’s outdated, it’s offensive, and it’s psychologically destructive for women, because it has the power to mislead girls into thinking that having one not-ideal sexual experience means that they have lost a part of themselves. Pitying and victimizing women doesn’t help them; it just dismisses the importance of female sexual agency.“In our society, if a guy wants to have sex with a lot of women, he is generally viewed as unethical and a jerk,” Vrangalova said.
“If you’re a female who wants sex with a lot of guys, not only are you a slut, but you also have ‘issues.’ You couldn’t possibly just want sex for fun, like guys do, so the desire must be coming from low self-esteem, depression, or because you’re ‘ugly’ and can’t get a boyfriend or whatever.
Highly unrestricted men do tend to be more manipulative, aggressive, and psychopathic—aka, they’re more often jerks.
But that represents a modest minority of the people on Tinder.
There are all sorts of people on Tinder, just like there are all sorts of people everywhere.”Sales, however, doesn’t quote a single guy who’s looking to form a relationship, nor a single woman who’s looking to hook up.
Hookup culture: The end of civilization, or the biggest NBD ever? But is this sampling of guys really representative of the majority of young people on Tinder?
If you’ve read a single article about dating apps lately, you are well primed to believe it’s the former. And is there any actual evidence to say that having a lot of sex through apps is, in fact, “bad”? Zhana Vrangalova, the renowned sex researcher who recently gave the TEDx talk “Is Casual Sex Bad for You? “There’s a trait known as sociosexual orientation, which measures how oriented a person is toward casual sex.