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The past is useful for checking your mental database for comparing data where appropriate but it’s not useful if you’re still living in the past and cannot differentiate between what’s going on in front of/around you and the past.
Sometimes you just need some reassurance that you have your own back.
But if you let your anxiety take over, you hurt the chances of you and your date enjoying the night and making a connection.
BUT I had a brilliant opening story, involving both embezzled felines and near-death experiences.
You do have to literally say to the spoiler, “Well hello old ‘friend’…. Try a Feelings Diary and monitor how you feel and what else is happening during these times for a week or so.
There may be other factors contributing such as work stress or even boredom.
By far, judging people and situations on merit so based on reality, along with checking in with you daily and having a respectful internal dialogue calms anxiety.
You’re not exactly going to feel less anxious if you’re calling you “stupid” or feeding your mind with all sorts of drama scenarios! Respect you even when at times you don’t make sense.