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If we learned anything from watching Rocky and Bullwinkle, it’s that Mounties are a LOT dumber than you’d think. Which probably explains the six bars per 1,000 people -- folks gotta warm up somewhere, right?

You know what we Much like its baseball team, Boston’s concentration of bars is highly overrated.

That said, DC is very dude-friendly -- the city rocks 11.3% more women than men.

Just because Miami is ranked so high doesn't mean you’ll visit on vacation and live like you’re in a T. video -- that probably takes more money than you’ve got.

You ever walk down the street in New York and wonder, “What’s that smell? Have you also wondered why everybody walks around staring at their phones?

It’s because this is America’s second-busiest Tinder market, and most people are busy left-right swiping their day away.

Call it a “college town” all you want, Columbus is actually the largest city in America’s seventh-largest state, and it boasts just over four bars per every thousand people.

(Seattle's almost as white and nearly as bad—and those "try a black girl" assholes, wherever they are.) But even though there are challenges, LSBG, you shouldn't leave Portland just because there aren't any men in—wait, are there really no men anywhere in Portland? Ask yourself what you enjoy doing besides searching Portland for men who aren't assholes. If you meet a guy with an amazing penis and a "giving tongue" who isn't a "professional," LSBG, maybe you should give him a chance. You could wind up meeting an introvert with a giving tongue.

Issa (the absolutely fucking brilliant Issa Rae) confronts Molly (the absolutely fucking brilliant Yvonne Orji) about the way Molly constantly complains to her friends about not being able to find a man while disqualifying every man she meets for bullshit reasons.

Molly wants a perfect man but on some level she knows no such thing exists—and Molly turns every date/hookup/relationship into a hunt for that one disqualifying imperfection.

(Molly, a lawyer, disqualifies a great guy because he hasn't been to college and isn't a "professional." Just sayin'.) Be open to guys who aren't everything you want.

You might be surprised to find one who's everything you need.

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