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Now I know to preserve it, so [men] can appreciate it more.

ESSENCE.com: So far the show has mentioned six or so things on your list. CHILLI: I love a silly man, can't be with a quiet guy, and he has to love the Lord.

He can't eat pork, or have more than two baby mamas. Last, but definitely not least, he must have a really huge p...package. Every Sunday night at EST, Chilli attempts to find him on her reality series "What Chilli Wants" on VH1.

The beautiful singer/songwriter Chilli seems to think so.

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Even if you want it to be, it just doesn't work out that way." "But I'll always love him, forever, because he was my first adult love, a real love," she added. The "OMG" crooner filed for divorce in 2009; the couple have two sons together — Usher V, 5, and Naviyd, 4.

ESSENCE.com: Speaking of the Lord, do you think you may miss out on finding your man being so specific with your checklist? CHILLI: (Laughs) Aww man..helped to reform and reshape the list. CHILLI: We're not enemies, I'll leave it at that..bad blood. Still everyone continues to want you and Usher back together...

CHILLI: God knows the desires of our heart, and before I even had a list I prayed and asked God to show me what exactly it is that I need. ESSENCE.com: You've never dated anyone that doesn't meet your list's criteria? ESSENCE.com: Hmmm.did Usher measure up to the list? During that relationship, I found out the things I really needed, and without going into a lot of detail, I can check off a whole lot on my list. CHILLI: It surprises me that people still say that, I hear it at least four times a week. When you become bitter, you're giving all those negative experiences the power to take you into a funk.

Like, I want a guy who doesn't drink, but I need a guy who doesn't smoke.

In my wants area, I'll compromise, but not my needs.

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